My parents grew up one being Baptist and the other being Methodist. So, they decided to make me nondenominational. It was your typical go to church every Sunday, have worship, listen to the sermon, then back home the family went. I was baptized my freshmen year of college. I grew up knowing of God, but did I really know Him? With my god-family, we would all attend church every Sunday morning. I read my bible and prayed. I knew that I was doing this because I wanted to be closer to God, and to have a relationship with Him. But I never felt that I had Him on my side. For some people that routine is what led them to be closer to God, that wasn’t the case for me at all.
By the time that summer had come, I stopped going to church regularly and looking back, at the moment, it did not affect me. I never questioned why I stopped going, I began to stop praying and started partying. I started to lose my faith. I knew that God was there but I never continued to pursue Him. The next year I started to go to church very little. I would pray when I felt it was necessary and I stuck to what I thought was knowing God.
It wasn’t until last year that I hit rock bottom and the only option left was turning to God. I found that I had demons tearing me away from God. I began to have major self-doubt, committing self-harm, and just not taking care of myself at all. It quickly became apparent to me that I tried to just ignore and push down all of the struggles that I had faced growing up. I tried to deal with them all on my own, I tried to not let any of my true emotions show. I was just a shell of a person holding it all together by a thread. One day that thread snapped and I lost sight of everything. I had my good friends and some family that I began to shut out. I wanted to figure it all out on my own. Quickly, I realized that doing it on my own was impossible.
After soul searching and moving to Siloam Springs, and meeting two amazing, caring women, I finally found what I was missing. I started to attend a Presbyterian church and it became known that I never actually knew who God was. Just attending those few services, I realized that I had been lacking the drive to find out who my God was. I saw so many people dive deep into scripture, and prayers unlike anything that I had ever seen before. I went through so much and I carried it as weight on my shoulders, weighing me down and holding me back. I never even thought that He would be someone that I could express all of my worries, doubts, problems, dreams, and ambitions too. It never crossed my mind that He could help heal all of these open wounds and open my mind to so much more.
I grew up knowing God to be removed. I never realized that he would be there when I required him most. I never realized that I could simply give my stresses to Him, just to give Him a chance to direct me through everything. I am presently going to chapel each Sunday and I have adapted more about Jesus inside the most recent year than I have as long as I can remember. I have re-committed myself to serving the Lord. Confiding in Him and realizing that He has a more prominent arrangement for me. Regardless of the battles I confront, I realize that He is there. He is with me at all times. Through this adventure, I have met such huge numbers of lovely souls. I have begun to separate these dividers that I never knew existed. I have given Jesus access to my life. I have discovered that nothing will ever be impeccable, there will dependably be agony and battle yet I have acknowledged that in the event that it is God’s will and His way, and He will never disappoint me.
All it takes is for you to will to simply open yourself up. Release the greater part of your questions and negative sentiments. Regardless of what your relationship is with God, it can simply be made strides. Our God is a generous God, who will dependably have a place for you in His heart. Jesus spared me, and he can spare you as well. He will enable you to get each broken piece you have. My trip to finding my confidence has been an extremely rough one. All it makes is only one stride, wanting to know god’s identity. Finding a place where you fit, can now and then be an overwhelming errand. I never felt like I had a place in the congregation, until this year. Regardless I go to nondenominational church now and then, however I go to the Pres church each week. I have quite recently taken a couple of various courses to assist my association with Jesus Christ. All through my voyage, I have imparted odds and ends to my companions, simply because I simply need to get the message out of the Lord.
Finding my faith is not only my story. I need to yell it from the housetops. I don’t need anybody abandoning their confidence as I improved the situation such a significant number of years. I don’t need anybody to ever be demoralized by any individual who has questions about religion. I need individuals to make inquiries, to peruse my articles and see my enthusiasm. I need you to assemble an association with our Lord and Savior, who gave his life so we as a whole should live. I look at my journey as an opportunity.